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Salary Center
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Be Paid What You're Really Worth
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asked more than 150 high-earning women, "Are you doing this for the money?" The
overwhelming response was a definite no. What drove them were passion,
recognition, challenge and independence. At the same time, they wanted to be
well-compensated, because they felt they were worth it.
But that's not
the case with most of us. We instinctively devalue ourselves. Those little
voices in our heads insist: "Who do you think you are? No one's going to pay you
that much." And I'm convinced self-depreciation goes right to the heart of our
financial ruts.
You can easily learn negotiation techniques and
assertiveness skills by taking courses or reading books. But the truth is this:
If you're going to command more money, you have to truly believe you're worth
it. Without that conviction, we lack the confidence to take a strong stand and
the certitude to convince others. People always respond to our vibes far more
than our words.
Many six-figure women admitted questioning their own
value. Yet they didn't let that stop them. These women built their confidence
like weightlifters build muscles -- by continually pushing themselves to take a
stand, ask for more, demand what they're worth and say no when appropriate
despite their trepidation.
Confidence-Building
Tips
This advice directly from these women will help you pump up
your self-worth along with your net worth:
- Think Big, Then Think Even Bigger: Most of us,
especially women, unwittingly limit our earnings by lowering our expectations.
Even in studies where women are trained in negotiation strategies, they set
their sights lower and end up with less money than men. The idea is to value
yourself fairly compared to others in your field or at your level.
- Do Your Research: One of the worst negotiating
mistakes people make is picking a random number and then discovering it was way
too low. The smarter ones avoid that pitfall by doing their homework. They
discover their market value by researching going rates, then asking for more
than what's offered to give themselves wiggle room.
- Quantify Your Value: You can counter the tendency to downplay yourself by
presenting tangible evidence of what you bring to the table. Maybe you saved
your company $X or had an idea that generated so many sales. Keep a file of
everything you've done. Don't wait for your review. Go in and ask for work, ask
for responsibility, ask for challenge. Let your supervisor know exactly where
your sights are set. Taking initiative is an effective means of demonstrating
your value and intentions to an organization.
- Practice Daily Affirmations: These positive
statements are expressed as if they've already happened. Two examples: "I have
the confidence to ask for what I want." "I welcome more money in my life." Write
your affirmations down. Post them where you can see them easily. Say them out
loud, as often as possible. As one affirmation enthusiast told me, "The more
often I hear the words coming out my mouth, the more I internalize it, and the
more my psyche knows it's going to happen."
- Challenge Yourself in Areas Outside Your Job:
Stretching yourself in any area of life has a ripple effect. If you can't quite
get yourself to ask for a raise, try signing up for an art class or running a
marathon. Anything that puts you out of your comfort zone builds confidence and
self-worth.
- Fake Confidence If Necessary: Asking for top
dollar takes a lot of nerve, which most of us won't feel at the time. But that
doesn't mean you can't fake it. Even six-figure women have doubted their worth,
but they appear undaunted. Acting as if you're confident is a surefire antidote
for weak knees, a pounding heart or a deflated ego. Besides, when you act as if
you're worth a lot, you'll eventually convince yourself as well as others.
By practicing these tips, you'll begin to notice a shift in how you
feel about yourself. Making more money becomes not something you should do, but
something you have to do -- because you know in your heart you're worth it. |
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